7 Keys To Finding Your Boaz (Or Ruth)

. .

Have you been looking for your Boaz?  A successful, wealthy, Godly man to marry?

Are you looking for your Ruth?  A lovely, Godly woman of integrity to call your wife?

Are you praying for a Ruth or a Boaz for your children and/or grandchildren?

Or are you just curious about the 7 keys to finding your successful, wealthy, Godly mate?

If you answered yes. . .to any of these questions. . .then you’re right on target for this teaching.

For a moment, I want to discuss the most effective and successful key for you to utilize in finding your Boaz or your Ruth.

Ask God.  That’s right. . .ask God to bring the right person into your life and remove all the wrong influences.  For every believer. . .this is the number one key to finding the person God has for you.  However, there are other keys that will help.

Here are the seven keys to finding your Boaz or Ruth:

1.         Respect and care for your elders. . .and those in authority over you.

We all know the story of Ruth and how she left her family and country to care for her mother-in-law, Naomi, in a land foreign to her.

Frankly, Ruth had to be a good woman because Naomi was having a major pity party and certainly wasn’t the kind of person you’d want to hang around as she grieved for her husband and sons.

Ruth 1:19-21 in the Amplified Bible says:

“And when they arrived in Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred about them, and said, Is this Naomi?  And she said to them, Call me not Naomi [pleasant]; call me Mara [bitter], for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.   I went out full, but the Lord has brought me home again empty. Why call me Naomi, since the Lord has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?”

Ruth would not leave Naomi no matter how many times she told her to leave.  Instead, Ruth loved Naomi and vowed to stay with her until the very end.  Ruth chose to go above and beyond what was required.

Ruth 1:16-17 in the Amplified Bible says:

“And Ruth said, Urge me not to leave you or to turn back from following you; for where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts me from you.”

Ruth’s respect, love and care for Naomi demonstrated her depth of character. 

Have you ever thought about why this particular verse of scripture is read at so many weddings?  Something to think about.

A respect for authority pleases God and places you in a position of great blessings.

2.         Follow the advice of your elders.

Always respect your elders and their advice.

It would have been easy for Ruth to turn her back on her mother-in-law but she didn’t.

Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of disrespect by people today for those in authority over them. . .including their elders.  Age does not always guarantee respect.

I think one of the reasons I learned to respect my elders was when my parents taught me at an early age to refer to anyone older than me by calling them Mr. or Ms.  It seems rather simple. . .but it places a value on those who are older than you are.

Always value the wisdom of your elders either because of their age or experience.

Listen to the advice even when you’re in a strange land like Ruth.

Ruth 3:1-5 in the Amplified Bible says:

“Then Naomi her mother-in-law said to Ruth, My daughter, shall I not seek rest or a home for you, that you may prosper?

2 And now is not Boaz, with whose maidens you were, our relative? See, he is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor.

3 Wash and anoint yourself therefore, and put on your best clothes and go down to the threshing floor, but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking.

4 But when he lies down, notice the place where he lies; then go and uncover his feet and lie down. And he will tell you what to do.

5 And Ruth said to her, All that you say to me I will do.”

Unfortunately, we live in a society where people are more interested in what their friends, celebrity entertainers or the bloggers say. . .than what their elders say.

Listen and learn from those who by their experience. . .good and sometimes difficult. . .have gained wisdom and are willing to share with you.

We need never think we know it all or can’t be taught. . .it is wise to value the advice of the elders. . .even if we choose not to heed every suggestion.

3.         Dress for the job you want. . .not the one you’ve got.

Once again. . .let’s look at Ruth 3:3 in the Amplified Bible which says:

Wash and anoint yourself therefore, and put on your best clothes and go down to the threshing floor, but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking”.

When you were young and going on a date with someone you really wanted to impress . . .did your Mom offer advice on how to make yourself look the best?  Did she say you looked very sharp in a particular outfit?

We may have resented certain remarks only to grow up and realize she was right in so many ways.

Ruth was told to put on her best clothes and she willingly listened. She respected the fact that her mother in law knew what the customs were in the land where they now lived.

If you read the book of Esther, you will notice she asked and took the advice of the man in charge of the women who appeared before the King (Esther 2:15).

I’m continually amazed at how people dress.

In the last month, I’ve had a young woman looking for a job at our Christian organization come in wearing a halter top and little else.

I had a young man come in unshaven. . .wearing shorts and flip flops.  Neither seemed to realize that they told me a lot about themselves before they opened their mouths to speak.

“Dress for the job you want. . .not the one you’ve got.”  That’s a quote I learned 40 years ago, in reading a book entitled “Dress For Success.”

Namoi wanted Ruth at her very best before the very wealthy Boaz. . .a man who could obviously have his choice among any women in the city. . .including those who had never been married.

So single Mommas. . .take heart. . .your Boaz is out there waiting for you.

One more thing. . .the way you dress will partially determine the kind of man you get.


What type of man do you want to attract?  What kind of woman would he be proud to have by his side?

Pastor Creflo Dollar at World Changers Church in Atlanta says something like this:  “What a girl shows … a guy thinks she’s willing to share.”

I think that is a nice way of saying:  Women who dress like hookers. . .are going to attract pimps. 

Every woman whether married or single should think about what they wear and the message it sends.  Your dress puts a value on who you think you are as a person.

4.         Commitment beyond convenience.

Ruth 1:11-13 in the Amplified Bible says:

“11 But Naomi said, Turn back, my daughters, why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that may become your husbands?

12 Turn back, my daughters, go; for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband tonight and should bear sons,

13 Would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters; it is far more bitter for me than for you that the hand of the Lord is gone out against me.”

In this passage you see the difference between a daughter-in-law and a daughter-in-love.

Orpah was the former. . .she turned around and went back to her people. That was not a wrong response… it was a typical response.

Ruth on the other hand has a conversation with her mother-in-law in Ruth 1:15-18 in the Amplified Bible which says:

“15 And Naomi said, See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.

16 And Ruth said, Urge me not to leave you or to turn back from following you; for where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people and your God my God.

17 Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts me from you.

18 When Naomi saw that Ruth was determined to go with her, she said no more.”

Ruth was committed in her desire to honor Naomi. . .and truly that makes her a daughter-in-love.  She choose a higher calling … one that would put her in a position that attracted the kind of attention that brings rewards.

If Ruth had neglected Naomi’s instructions and tried to have found a husband on her own. . .chances are we would never have heard from or about her again.  Instead she has a book of the Bible named after her.

Ruth was a young woman of principle and character. . .it showed.  Not only did it endear her to Naomi … the scripture says it endeared her to Boaz and I think it endeared her to God Who brought her success.

On a side note. . .your future mother and father-in-loves will be important to the marital bliss of you, your children and grandchildren. . .as the case may be.  So let your character shine through as early as possible.

5.         Be humble.

When you are determined to do right. . .when your humility is evident. . .it will be obvious to others.  You won’t have to say a word. . .but your level of commitment and integrity will be obvious.

You can tell when someone is trying to put on the appearance of doing something because it will eventually show up as not the way they really are.  But you can also tell when someone is truly what they appear to be because their consistency will not fail them.

Ruth’s commitment to Naomi was obvious to others as well.

Ruth 2:8-9 says:

“8 Then said Boaz unto Ruth, Hearest thou not, my daughter? Go not to glean in another field, neither go from hence, but abide here fast by my maidens:

9 Let thine eyes be on the field that they do reap, and go thou after them: have I not charged the young men that they shall not touch thee? and when thou art athirst, go unto the vessels, and drink of that which the young men have drawn.

Ruth’s response reveals a great deal about her character. . .and why she was blessed.

Ruth 2:10-11 in the Amplified Bible says:

“Then she fell on her face, bowing to the ground, and said to him, Why have I found favor in your eyes that you should notice me, when I am a foreigner?   And Boaz said to her, I have been made fully aware of all you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband, and how you have left your father and mother and the land of your birth and have come to a people unknown to you before.”

When you put the interest of others above even your own. . .it’s shown and noticed in places which you can’t even begin to imagine.

When you demonstrate a sensitivity to the needs of others beyond what is convenient for you. . .there’s no question you will be rewarded.  That’s not my opinion. . .it’s the Word of God.

Ruth 2:12 says:

“The Lord recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.”

Your humility, character, integrity will always travel before you.

If you’re looking for your Boaz or for that matter your Ruth. . .make sure you’re sending the right message.

6.         Timing is important.

You may have a great idea. . .even a God-idea. . .but it the idea regardless of how brilliant is not in God’s timing. . .it will fail.

Timing is important to God.

Genesis 4:3 in the Amplified Bible says:

“And in the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground.”

God even spells out the variations and importance of time in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 in the Amplified Bible which says:

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.  2 A time to be born and a time to die.  A time to plant and a time to harvest.  3 A time to kill and a time to heal.  A time to tear down and a time to build up.  4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.  5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.  A time to embrace and a time to turn away.  6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.  A time to keep and a time to throw away. 7 A time to tear and a time to mend.  A time to be quiet and a time to speak.  8 A time to love and a time to hate.  A time for war and a time for peace.”

Ecclesiastes 3:11 in The Living Bible says:

“Everything is appropriate in its own time. But though God has planted eternity in the hearts of men, even so, many cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”

7.         Be yourself

I will confess to you that I’ve never been on ChristianMingle.com, match.com, eHarmony or any other dating site. . .because I don’t need to. . .God delivered my perfect match in marriage . . .42 years 5 months and 30 days ago.

But we have friends and partners who have found the love of their lives on these sites while others have found losers whom they never want to be with in their lives.

The number one disappointment is people who embellish their status and digitally improve their photograph.

Can you imagine how Jacob felt on his wedding night when he lifted the veil expecting to find Rachel only to discover he had just married Leah?

If you pretend to be something or someone you’re not. . .it will only lead to disappointment. . .and place a negative reflection or smear on your character.

The point of these observations is simply this.

If your heart’s desire is to fine your Boaz or your Ruth. . .just be yourself. . .which is  particularly important when it comes to your values and your love for the Lord.

Guys… don’t cuss and tell dirty jokes just to fit in.

Don’t go to movies or watch TV programs that compromise your moral code.

If you made a decision not to drink alcohol. . .doing so because you want to feel accepted by some co-workers or a group of peers is the wrong motivation.

Philippians 2:12 in the Amplified Bible says:

“Therefore, my dear ones, as you have always obeyed [my suggestions], so now, not only [with the enthusiasm you would show] in my presence but much more because I am absent, work out (cultivate, carry out to the goal, and fully complete) your own salvation with reverence and awe and trembling (self-distrust, [a]with serious caution, tenderness of conscience, watchfulness against temptation, timidly shrinking from whatever might offend God and discredit the name of Christ).”

When dating someone whom you think might be the one. . .establish your boundaries for physical contact.  Once these boundaries are agreed to. . .honor them.

It’s important not to put yourself in a position of compromise.  For instance, you don’t sit on your bed while talking with your special someone … it’s just not a wise thing to do.  That’s why you have chairs and couches and living rooms.

My thoughts are not just for teenagers or college students. . .it’s for single folks who have their own apartment.

Never give the enemy an opportunity to rob you of what you treasure and believe in … a reputation for purity is a hard thing to regain once it’s compromised.  God forgives and forgets … others … not so easily.

James 1:14-16 says:

“But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers.”

When I asked the Lord why He was having us share this. . .I was led to 1 Timothy 1:5 in the Amplified Bible which says:

“Whereas the object and purpose of our instruction and charge is love, which springs from a pure heart and a good (clear) conscience and sincere (unfeigned) faith.”

Don’t use or allow anyone to use false flattery to win you over.

To the single women listening. . .if a man (no matter how handsome or well-developed his six-pack may be). . .if a man says to you. . .girl, I’m so tired because you been running through my mind all day.

You need to say. . .that’s nice, but do you have a job. . .how long have you had it. . .are you in debt.. . .what are your goals and plans for the future?

If you don’t like his answers. . .then simply say “Good bye.”  Shake the dust off your feet and move on.  And that also goes for the men who are looking for the right mate.  Be sure you are seeing the real deal.

The bottom line is this … in the world you will never attract a Barbie if you are not aiming at becoming a Ken.  And in God’s eyes you will never attract a Boaz if you are not striving to be a Ruth. 

Finding a mate of value will take time, effort and most of all … a trust in the One Who counts … but the good news is this … He wants you blessed.